It never fails. You spend hours digging through the best hookup dating sites for the profile that fits just right. Then it’s another hour of figuring out what to say and how to deliver it. Should you update your picture first? Maybe talk about that thing she liked. Or perhaps you should just skip the small talk and ask her to join you for dinner in Victoria so you can talk in person. Whichever option you finally land on one thing is clear: it wasn’t the right one. It may not be your first time contacting her through a website or in person, but it can always be your last, and sometimes our habits are so ingrained that we just can’t tell what’s put her off so bad. This is where you can really benefit from the experiences of others.
Telling Her to Smile
You might think you’re giving her a compliment when you tell her that a pretty girl should smile, but what you’re actually doing is telling her she’s not allowed to display a different emotion. Let’s be honest, you probably didn’t mean that at all, but no amount of studying the best hookup dating sites will ever tell you how what you say can end up being a reflection of something she wants nothing to do with, and frankly neither do you. A general rule of thumb is that if you would find it awkward or strange for someone to say something to you, don’t use the same line on her. If she’s frowning about something, don’t tell her to smile, because that’s not really what you mean. What you mean is you noticed she seems upset and you don’t want her to be. Just like you would look at someone like they have four heads if they told you to put a smile on because you’re too handsome to be upset, think of how awkward she feels to be told she shouldn’t be feeling an emotion, often by a complete stranger.
It’s a little weird, isn’t it? The thing is, women are constantly being told what to do and primarily what to look like. Frankly they’re pretty tired of it and definitely tired of guys thinking that’s all they want to hear. If you approach women with a command, even if it’s wrapped in a compliment, it’s about as much of a turn off as you can imagine. She’s going to feel awkward at best and that’s not how you want to open a conversation with someone. So ask yourself first how strange or uncomfortable it would be if the situation was reversed and don’t kid yourself. You’d be surprised how many bad pickup lines this will take out of use right away and how much more affective your approach will be after the fact.
Asking About Her Sexual Partners
Here’s the thing; unless you’re dealing with a long term relationship, this really isn’t ever an appropriate question to ask. Even then, it should really only be brought up in response to her asking the same of you. Although, just to be clear, she really doesn’t have any more reason to know how many or which people you’ve slept with than you have to pry into the same details for her. It’s one thing when it comes to asking about what she wants out of sex, what kind of foreplay she likes, if she has any sexual fantasies or things that are just not going to fly in the bedroom. You’re just making sure you both have a good time. Asking specifically about previous partners isn’t any more of your business than your previous playmates are to her.
There’s a lot of reasons why this is the case, but suffice to say it’s an invasion of privacy and there’s pretty much no way to come off as not being judgmental. Even if you don’t really care how many people she’s been with or if she slept with a particular person, just asking about it makes you seem like you do. You’re probably not going to receive an honest answer even if she deigns to give one and most the time will kill the mood and piss her off instead. Just take our word on this, even if the slogans like to remind us that sleeping with someone is having sex with everyone they’ve ever been with, what they’re really warning about is sexually transmitted diseases, not needing to know the names and approximate amount of people she’s ever slept with. So take our word for it and just don’t go there.
Anything About How Long You’ve Been on a Dating Site
One of the worst things guys can do to stab themselves in the foot is say something along the lines of “I’ve just been on this site for too long.” Doing your research on the best hookup dating sites should have been enough to tell you that bemoaning your inability to get into or maintain a relationship is a really big put off. Think about it. If a woman you were potentially interested in dating started complaining about never being able to find someone on the site even after all the time she’d been there, wouldn’t you start wondering if there wasn’t something else going? Just what are you missing that made every other guy look or run away? See where we’re going with this?
Complaining about how long it’s taking to find someone worth dating or even just how long you’ve been stuck with this one website even though it was listed as one of the best hookup dating sites is going to raise giant, angry red flags in her mind. Not only do you get points off for whining in one of your first conversations, which makes you come across as brattish and self-centered, but she’s also going to be wondering what exactly is going on here. Even if you have perfectly harmless, legitimate reasons for having relationships fall through, all she’ll see is a potential disaster waiting to happen.
Introducing Yourself by Telling Her How Hot She is
This is right up there with catcalling random women on the street. They all pretty much universally hate this. Even women on the best hookup dating sites out there won’t take well to an introduction including a statement about how hot they are. To women the word hot equates to “sex now.” So, unless you’re on a website specifically devoted to hooking up for sex, this sort of thing is never going to go over well. So, start looking for top dating sites for some hook up tips. Read our Reviews Of The Top Hookup Sites: We Compare Hookup Sites . Check these hookup dating site reviews and learn how to introduce yourself properly to a woman.